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Monday, October 1, 2012

It Was A Moment of Weakness

So I know that it has been over a week since my last post and I hate that!  Firstly, because it was a goal of mine to keep up better than this!  Secondly, I feel like I have sooo much I wanted to talk about and now it's all a big gooey caramel cluster in my brain.  So I guess that just means I have material for a few posts :)

Anyways, my mom visited this week which was AMAZING!  I love spending time with my mommy!  We always have so much fun together and she is the best friend I could ever have.  I tend to think of us as the Gilmore Girls..... minus the single parent, teen pregnancy, and never ending metabolisms :)   The down side is that my mom tends to bring out my ultimate weakness.. FOOD!  Don't get me wrong, my mom is super supportive and proud of what I am doing and doesn't try to tempt me.. she just isn't on the same journey as I am and I found it easy this week to say "You being here is a treat so I'm going to have some treats" and "it's just a couple bad days, it's not forever"  WRONG IDEA!!!  I felt like shit!  I had headaches, felt bloated and  stuffed, was cranky, and lethargic!  I missed 3 workouts and didn't track calories for 2 days,  it was badness.  My fiance even told me I needed to go run because I was wearing my bitch panties!

 So yesterday, I got back on track.  I woke up, ate my sensible breakfast, threw on my tennis shoes and went to the park for my run.  Was it the best run I've ever had?  EFF NO!  But it wasn't the worst either.  I could feel all the crap I'd eaten over the past couple days jiggling around in my belly and wanted to puke whenever I thought of onion rings or little debbies, but I did it, and I felt amaze-balls after.

I think what I love about my runs is that I have nothing to do but think about things.... I think about wedding plans, my journey to a better me,  the ladies of fit camp, willing my legs to keep going and praying that they haven't actually turned to jello, the day that Chris Hemsworth asks me to play 50 Shades of Gray....all kinds of ish.  And what I thought about yesterday was how far I've come.  I used to struggle to run for 60-90 seconds and now I run for at least 25 minutes straight, and I don't pray for the creepy lady to tell me when to walk, I just run until I can't run anymore.  I thought about how great it feels to be dripping with sweat and to feel sore after a workout.  I also thought about my binge... but I didn't beat myself up about it.  Was it worth it?  NOPE  Will it happen again?  YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS.  But what was important about it is that I picked up and kept going, it's over, it was a moment of weakness, but I'm stronger than that, and I've come too far to be taken down by oatmeal cream pies with a November expiration date (OMG so fresh!)  So don't get down on yourself about a bad day (or 3)  just remember that YOU CAN DO THIS,  put on your (smaller, sexier) big girl panties and keep on going!

Last post I promised progress pics... and I always keep my promises... no matter how mortifying.  So here it goes (soooo scary)

The photo on the left is the day we got engaged 5/15 (best proposal ever, btw).  I weight 273 lbs and was wearing some size 20 jeans that were too small.  The photo on the right was taken 9/27 at 227 lbs and size 18 shorts that are pretty loose.  I'm not sure how much of a difference I can really see, but I am extremely harsh on myself.....  I still have a LONG way to go on this journey, but I am down 46lbs and couldn't be more proud.

Thanks for reading :)


  1. I should have added I found your link on the fit camp page AND I love Gilmore Girls and think my Mom and me are like them, minus everything you wrote as well :)

  2. That is awesome! Keep up the hard work!