The First 40

So once again, I have epic failed on keeping up with this blog mostly for 2 reasons.  First being that I SUCK ASS at technology and often just give up on it rather that get pissed and keep trying (more to follow on that), and secondly,  I am lacking in the confidence department that I will be able to produce a blog that is even half as cool as the ones that I am ADDICTED to reading each and every day.... seriously, it's like my new crack!  BUT I"M BACK!!!  I am sooo inspired by the lady's at Mama Laughlin's Fit Camp that I have a new determination to stick with this and one day I'll have this journey documented to look back on how amazing I have become (haha).

So what I want to tell you guys about today, especially those of you with a big goal, mine is over 100lbs, is what I have learned in these first 4 months and 40 pounds.  I have come along way and not just with my new lifestyle,  I have learned so much about me and who I am at my core....... DEEP down under all this padding :)  so bear with me this may be a long one!!

My story is different from many I have read so far.  I was not big my whole life.  Growing up my nick name was Bones... because that's all I was.  I was extremely active as a child, playing softball from an early age, then moving into figure skating, and eventually gave up both for competitive cheerleading and high school cheerleading.  Looking back I've probably always had shit for eating habits but I was so active that it didn't really matter.  Flash forward to 17 and the world of dating and driving.  I learned 2 detrimental things...
     1.  Dates usually consisted of eating out, but it was FREE so why not
     2.  Having my driver's license and a part time job meant that Sonic would give me all the tots and bacon,       egg, and cheese toasters that I wanted.

After I stopped cheering because I was too scared of more advanced tumbling, I basically stopped exercising all together, and the weight started to pack on and never stopped.

Flash forward to May of 2013.....  I have an amazing job, just bought my first house, and had the best boyfriend and fur babies EVER!  My boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo.... it was perfect and I couldn't be happier.... until I stepped on the scale the next morning... 273 lbs.  I had a meltdown in my bathroom.  I knew that I was fat.... let's face it, OBESE and had been very sucessful at losing 20lbs and gaining 30 for the past 3 years, but this time it had to be different, I had to change my life, for countless reasons, but mostly that despite how awesome my life was I wasn't happy with ME and who's more important that me :)

I started my journey on May 15th... the very day of the 273, no waiting til Monday or until all the shit in my cabinets were gone (my go to excuses to put off the change).  I have adapted my journey several times along the way, but 4 months later I am at 232.8 lbs.... that's 40lbs lighter and have gone from a size 22 jeans to a comortable 18 or some 16s that stretched into probably an 18..... mind you I can button brand new 16s, but NO ONE wants to see that glorious of a muffin top :)

The big point of this long ass rambling post is that I have learned some very important things from these first 40lbs that I'd like to share with those of you who may need some reassurance that this journey is worth it all :)

1. Changing your life is FUCKIN HARD and it takes a long time!!  It's not going to get easier, so don't wait for it to!  Just keep trucking knowing that it is the right thing to do, and that all the tears, sweat, sore muscles, and days of wanting to give up but making yourself stick to it are worth it!!

2.  I can do so much more than I ever thought I was capable of!   Lots of stuff comes naturally to me, and when it doesn't I get pissed and give up... not this time!  I have become determined to do things in all aspects of my life whether it be jogging for 20 minutes straight or figuring out how to edit this blog!

3. I'm pretty dang awesome!  To me, being fat forced me to develop my personality and not to get by on "being pretty"  Since I had no confidence in my appearance, I had to use my personality to get me through.  Honestly, I think me at 273 lbs was way cooler than I ever was when I was thin, and I became confident in who I was and my non-physical attributes.  Now, I'm slowly getting to the best version of me possible.

4. Put yourself out there and be accountable!  Nothing has helped me more than the Fit Camp page!  This group of women is the BEST thing that I could have found!

5. Most importantly... I've learned that I'm Just Jenn (hence the lame blog title) and that is more than enough for me!

I'm finally done!!!  sorry ya'll :-/  It's almost that TOM and I tend to get very share-y and open at that time....     Thanks for hanging in there.  Let my hear about what you've learned!!  I'll be back soon, and I promise to keep it much shorter!!

Until then,  much love :)