Weighing In (plus a bonus rant)

It seems like Wednesdays are coming faster and faster, probably because it's my favorite time of the year!!!!! I love fall and winter and all that comes along with it!  So I was down exactly 1 pound yesterday... I'll take it!  That puts me at 225.6 (eeeekkkk) which is 47.4 lbs (and yes I had to use a calculator)!!  Which means I have to buckle down and get my ass in gear if I'm going to reach my 10lb/month goal for October since this is probably the last month I could hit it.  I know I can't lose 10lbs a month forever, but hey a girl can dream.  So next week, I need to lose 2.6lbs..... we shall see :)

Okay... mini rant.  Do you guys have that one person at work that is just odd... perfectly nice, but maybe talks to themselves about their cats in a normal conversational tone/volume, or asks you questions and then freaks out on you shouting "nevermind",  or talks to you like they think you are stupid???  Yeah...... I got to be partners with that guy last night... let's just say, longest 12 hours ever!!!!!  Maybe not ever, but my anxiety level was up... and that's a lot from this girl.

these thoughts were basically on my mind all night..... what would we do without e-cards?!??!

Now, on to my big rant for the morning.... Halloween costumes.  You might be curious as to how someone could have beef with something so fun.  This is my beef.... WHY ARE ALL COSTUMES FOR ADULTS SLUTTY?!?!? I am looking for a nice, cute, PG Halloween costume to wear to a friend's house to help pass out candy to small children who do not need to learn what a vagina is from my Little Red Riding Hood costume!  ALSO,  I know I have come a long way on my journey to sexy bitch/hooker/future soccer mom-dom but I am still plus sized and these costumes should NEVER have the word plus in front of them.  No offense to the ladies who like to flaunt what they've got.... truly.  So, I am back at square one... no Halloween costume and being faced with the idea of getting some kind of animal ears,  cut up a sweatshirt flashdance style, some leggings, and making a TY tag necklace and calling myself a beanie baby.... beyond sad, I know.  So.... please please please someone have an amazing costume idea to share with me!!!  For the record, next Halloween I WILL be rocking something distastefully slutty!

I don't remember these hookers in Disney World!

I don't want to end on a negative note, so, I am always envious of people's awesome food posts.  And while this is by no means earth shattering, it's my go to breakfast and I loves it!!!  It's just one serving of quick cook oats, mix in 1 tsp brown sugar, and sprinkled with cinnamon!  It is yummy and filling and keeps me full til lunch and only has 195 calories.  I had tried the Weight Control brand before and it didn't seem like near as much food for only a few less calories.  Plus it's a 5 minute breakfast that I can scarf down before my workouts with Jillian and still usually make it to bed by 9am!

please excuse the shitty quality, I am hoping for a real camera from Santa!

Talk to you amazing chickies soon!!

love, jenn

PS  if anyone knows how to make the cute little signatures like I see on so many blogs,  help a tech challenged gal out and tell me how, I want to be cool too :)

PPS.  I know my grammar sucks ass.  I'm pretty sure I lost all grammatical knowledge while making room for my mad life-saving/starting an IV in 1 stick skills.  I'm sorry..... not really :)

Tuesday Tidbits

Wow..... I am probably the most boring 25 year old in the history of 25 year olds!  I'm at that awkward life stage I guess where I don't have the mini me(s)  yet but I'm not the wild and crazy single gal either since being wild and crazy often requires money.... BOO.  I have been thinking all day of something to write for you guys today and I got nothing.  So here is what I can scrape up for you awesome peeps as a blog post... sorry if I put you to sleep while sitting at the computer.

So, my fiance and I relocated to our current city about 6 months ago and we did it pretty big... we bit the bullet and bought a house, therefore committing to this city for 5-7 years???  Well I have finally decided that it is time we develop a social circle here rather than driving the 2 hours back home to see our "home friends".  I started by joining in on a group of girls at work that host dinners at their homes each month and it rotates... I'm not gonna lie, this chic is pretty excited and I can't wait to choose my month and start planning to show off my mad skills....  I also went to the movies with this group on Sunday, we saw Pitch Perfect and it was GREAT!  I think everyone should go see it. Think Bring It On, but for singing!  AND I saw previews for The Host (Stephanie Meyer's book that is a thousand times better than Twilight could ever be) and the new Le Miserables!!  I basically only go to the movies to see the previews so I elated!

I have spent the last 2 days sorting through my garage gathering up things for a yard sale that I am planning for this Saturday.  I have never really been a big yard sale person.... I feel kind of weird assuming that people are going to want to buy my old junk that I no longer deem good enough for my princess ass, but when Ryan said he was going to throw all my treasures shit away, I went into hoarder mode and decided that the only way I could part with the garbage is to sell it.  So wish my luck on my first yard sale...  I kind of have a feeling it's just going to be me sitting in my front yard at 7am with piles of shit that will be taken to good will by 10, despite my dreams of people flocking to buy my circa 2004 Abercrombie and American Eagle gear for prices I want.

On a fitness note... I think today I officially became a Jillian drop out.  I just hate doing her workouts, and not in the way where I hate it until I get started and then I'm so pumped I wanna shove my tongue in her mouth.  I truly dread every second of it.  Between working nights and that my shifts are always in a row, I feel like in order to commit to doing Jillian every day, I have to give up some of my runs.... which I LOVE!  So I think I'm going to only do 30DS on work mornings since they are only 20 minutes, but when I'm off it's just me, my Nikes, and the running trail!  I am consistently able to run a complete 5k, and today I did it in under 40 minutes (woot woot).   So now it's time for a new goal, and I am feeling more and more ready for my first 5k next weekend!!

I'll catch you guys next time with my weekly weigh in and hopefully something that doesn't bore you to tears!

Love, Jenn!

Weigh Day Wednesday

Today is that special day.... our weekly visit with our favorite whore that we just can't get enough of..... the scale!!  The day where we hop on to see just how little much all our hard work has paid off this week OR to see how bad our bad choices really were. I woke up this morning fully prepared to see my first weekly gain thanks to my 3 day return to fat girl status earlier this week where I managed to pack on 3 lbs... SERIOUSLY?!?  I've been busting ass all week in hopes to just break even.  So when I get my official weigh in of a 0.8lb gain, I don't feel SOO bad.  Actually, that is a dirty lie.. I feel horrible.  I wanted to cry a little bit, it sucked major limp D.

Adding to this unfair day, I had to go to a re-certification class for work.... they expect me to re-learn how to save lives every 2 years...... what the real problem is that they expect me to be anywhere at 8am!  I left my house with an hour and a half to get to the hospital... plenty of time, I may even grab a Starbucks on my way in.  WRONG!  Not that I live outside a HUGE city or anything, but it is the biggest city Alabama has to offer and working night shift means, I am always going against the flow.  So as 8am comes and goes and I'm still sitting in traffic, I am pissed, have already guzzled a liter of water and have to pee like a racehorse.  I roll into my class 30 minutes late just to find out that they locked the doors and gave my spot away... apparently living in the suburbs is not a valid excuse.  So I truck it all the way back home, having wasted about 3 hours of my life last day off!  Instead of being awesome and taking my anger out on Jillian or assuring that we will have clean panties to wear for the next week, I put my night shirt back on and crawl into bed next to Ryan and my pups to try and kick the headache I have been rocking for 3 days.... cue sad violin.

About 3 hours later I wake up and decide that I'm starting over.   I hop back on the scale and what do ya know... I'm DOWN 0.8 lbs from last week.  I quickly edited my earlier post in MFP since the smaller number always wins and was instantly in a great mood and plan to tackle the rest of my afternoon and night... since I have to stay up all night anyways to prepare for my 3 days as a vampire.  I WILL clean up around the house, catch up on some of laundry mountain, and I WILL do Jillian hard core.

I am not really one for coming up with amazing recipes, I'd rather just mooch them off of my friends.  So last night I made 4 Spice Chicken Thighs (I used wings) that I stole from the amazing Keyona at Skinny and Delicious.  If you don't already follow her blog you are cray-cray go check it out.  She has lots of yummy recipes that even I can make!.  I didn't follow the directions exactly, but it was AMAZING and will definitely become a go-to in my dinner planning.  I paired it with some broccoli and was one happy girl.

Thanks for all the comments about my run yesterday!  It really made my day, y'all are the best!

love,
jenn

Dog Food :)

First, I want to start this post off with big news that I meant to post last week, but I never got around to posting it....  I finally signed up for my first 5k!!  It will be the Liz Hurley Ribbon Run on October 20th supporting breast cancer.  I am sooo excited/nervous/terrified about it.... I KNOW I can do it and that alone feels AMAZING!  My biggest fear is that is a no headphones run... WTF?!?!?

Anywhosers...  I have never been one to ask for money for ANYTHING, and had not planned on even trying to raise money aside from my donation for the entry fee, but then I figured why not?  Worst case is that no one donates and I am no worse off than if I didn't ask, and every bit helps... so below is the link to my personal donation page. Give as little or as much as you'd like, and know that I am so grateful for anything that you can give.

http://www.lizhurleyribbonrun.org/faf/login/page_edit.asp?ievent=1027732&lis=0&kntae1027732=8AD9380114C140FB996923B205C48A92

Also, if you have been touched by breast cancer, leave me a comment telling me the name of your loved one and a little about their journey.  I would love to know a little about some of the women that I am running for and also, to keep my motivated to continue running..... since Flo-Rida has been banned.

this is basically how I roll

So today was the day I decided that I no longer need the c25k app while I run.  It cuts off more often than it works and I am to the point where I just run for 28 minutes anyways.  Basically, my inner over achiever gets pissed off because I can't get that green check mark!  So this morning I took off with Nike Run ( LOVES it!) and Pandora with a goal of just to run until I couldn't anymore... or 28 minutes whichever happens first last.  1 mile in Nike informs me that I have completed a mile in 12:30 and I felt like a rockstar.  When I got to 2 miles I decided to run back to my car and be proud.  Well when I got to my car I decided that I might as well go to 3 miles, I had to be close... so despite being nearly dead, I kept going

I RAN 3.15 MILES.... a 5k!  This girl, who in August, could barely run for 90 seconds, just ran a 5k!!!  There were definitely tears shed as I dragged my jello jigglers back to the car!  I was so proud of myself,  my new goal is a 5k in under 40 minutes!  We shall see :)  So, keep on truckin' skanks... if this girl can do it, so can YOU!

And finally, the whole reason behind the mysterious dog food title.  Last week my fiance was forced to go into the seventh gate of Hell Walmart because our precious babies were out of food.  The next morning when I got home, Ryan tells me that he was thinking (sometimes a scary thing)  and that when he picked up the 46lb bag of dog food, he remembered that was how much weight I've lost.  So "Wing, you've lost a big ass bag of dog food" (Wing is our pet name... I'm sure I'll cover that later) was his supportive comment for the day.  Which was AMAZING once i looked at the dog food bag and containers.  I'm a visual person and since I haven't really been able to notice in the mirror this sight FLOORED me

yes that is a Christmas mat, and YES that is a case of wine, wanna be friends?                                                                                 

                                                          she tucks herself in like that

this is my shadow.... i apparently gave birth to him

So, there you have it.  I have lost enough weight to feed a German Shepherd and a Golden Mutt for about 2 weeks.

More excitement to come I'm sure.
Until then, love,
 Jenn :)

It Was A Moment of Weakness

So I know that it has been over a week since my last post and I hate that!  Firstly, because it was a goal of mine to keep up better than this!  Secondly, I feel like I have sooo much I wanted to talk about and now it's all a big gooey caramel cluster in my brain.  So I guess that just means I have material for a few posts :)

Anyways, my mom visited this week which was AMAZING!  I love spending time with my mommy!  We always have so much fun together and she is the best friend I could ever have.  I tend to think of us as the Gilmore Girls..... minus the single parent, teen pregnancy, and never ending metabolisms :)   The down side is that my mom tends to bring out my ultimate weakness.. FOOD!  Don't get me wrong, my mom is super supportive and proud of what I am doing and doesn't try to tempt me.. she just isn't on the same journey as I am and I found it easy this week to say "You being here is a treat so I'm going to have some treats" and "it's just a couple bad days, it's not forever"  WRONG IDEA!!!  I felt like shit!  I had headaches, felt bloated and  stuffed, was cranky, and lethargic!  I missed 3 workouts and didn't track calories for 2 days,  it was badness.  My fiance even told me I needed to go run because I was wearing my bitch panties!

 So yesterday, I got back on track.  I woke up, ate my sensible breakfast, threw on my tennis shoes and went to the park for my run.  Was it the best run I've ever had?  EFF NO!  But it wasn't the worst either.  I could feel all the crap I'd eaten over the past couple days jiggling around in my belly and wanted to puke whenever I thought of onion rings or little debbies, but I did it, and I felt amaze-balls after.

I think what I love about my runs is that I have nothing to do but think about things.... I think about wedding plans, my journey to a better me,  the ladies of fit camp, willing my legs to keep going and praying that they haven't actually turned to jello, the day that Chris Hemsworth asks me to play 50 Shades of Gray....all kinds of ish.  And what I thought about yesterday was how far I've come.  I used to struggle to run for 60-90 seconds and now I run for at least 25 minutes straight, and I don't pray for the creepy lady to tell me when to walk, I just run until I can't run anymore.  I thought about how great it feels to be dripping with sweat and to feel sore after a workout.  I also thought about my binge... but I didn't beat myself up about it.  Was it worth it?  NOPE  Will it happen again?  YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS.  But what was important about it is that I picked up and kept going, it's over, it was a moment of weakness, but I'm stronger than that, and I've come too far to be taken down by oatmeal cream pies with a November expiration date (OMG so fresh!)  So don't get down on yourself about a bad day (or 3)  just remember that YOU CAN DO THIS,  put on your (smaller, sexier) big girl panties and keep on going!

Last post I promised progress pics... and I always keep my promises... no matter how mortifying.  So here it goes (soooo scary)

The photo on the left is the day we got engaged 5/15 (best proposal ever, btw).  I weight 273 lbs and was wearing some size 20 jeans that were too small.  The photo on the right was taken 9/27 at 227 lbs and size 18 shorts that are pretty loose.  I'm not sure how much of a difference I can really see, but I am extremely harsh on myself.....  I still have a LONG way to go on this journey, but I am down 46lbs and couldn't be more proud.

Thanks for reading :)
LOVE,
jenn

Weigh-Day Wednesday (on Thursday)

So, yesterday was weigh day!!!  I never really know how to feel about weigh day.  Part of it is exciting to get the official number of the week.  I say official because we all know that we step on the scale about mid week just to gauge where we stand.  If you say you don't I say you are a lying hefer-lump!  The rest of it is terrifying because I always know if it's a shitty number I'm gonna feel like a piece of crap and God forbid there's a gain!!!  Anyways, since starting 30DS I live in constant fear of gaining, despite being fully aware that inches are what matters!  So as I stumbled out of bed yesterday afternoon, did my morning tinkle, and stumbled onto my scale I was delighted to see this.....

And, yes, it is absolutely mortifying to post this on the internet, but it's important also.  I have come a long way to get to that 230 and I'm pretty damn proud of it.  Besides, I am way more embarrassed that my toe nails look the way they do!  I promise to keep them up a little better for the sake of this weekly post :)  Anyways, this puts me at -4lbs for the week!!  I weighed on Friday for my official 4 month weigh in, and was down another 1.6lbs!!!  So, thank you Jillian for being the evil alien whore that you are, you are the best frenemy I have ever had.  When all this is said and done I hope we can make out.
........
I know I already posted this on the Fit Camp page, but it was so AMAZING I have to share it again.

I have had a cold for the past few days, and after a crazy ass night at work last night I was exhausted, couldn't breathe through my nose, and was loaded down with 2 slices of pizza, a breadstick, a cupcake, and 2 or 3 cookies.... I'm not really sure because the fat girl took over and I was no longer in control.  Needless to say the last thing I wanted to do after my 12 hours of hell was c25k, but I convinced myself to go since it was so beautiful out and fall is the only time that I would say Alabama is pretty and that once I started running my nose would magically open up and I would be able to breathe better than ever.  YEA EFFING RIGHT!

The first 5 minute run went great!  I was actually moving fairly quick, since after running 25 minutes straight last time, this 5 minutes wasn't shit compared to me and Fergie.... We're T-A-S-T-E-Y!  I passed this amazing lady who was super fit and had on a cute outfit and she gave me 2 thumbs up.  What a hookstar!!  Me and Justin Timberlake started to run faster after that.
As soon as the creepy voice told me to run the next 8 minutes, I realized not only is my nose stuffy, my lungs are full of junk!  I quickly began puffing like I had spent last night face down in an ashtray.  Then actual snot bubbles began to form out of my nose.... those kind that little kids get and you wonder what the hell makes their snot stronger than glue.  I was in the middle of convincing myself that it was okay to stop because "I'm sick"  when I saw her again.... this time she was CLAPPING for me!!  MY heart instantly melted and I began to cry.... but I KEPT RUNNING!  I wiped my snot glue bubbles on my shirt and ran.

I passed her again when I was on my last 5 minute run (I don't know how she never caught me on my walks... she probably thinks I am much more of a BAMF than I really am) and I screamed thank you to her. That lady made my week... More than the 40lb milestone, more than the 4lbs this week, and for damn sure more than that pizza or cupcake!  She didn't know I couldn't breathe and wanted to quit, she just saw a big girl out there doing the best she could.

My goal is to always find someone out there who might need a little boost and give that too them.  That feeling is too awesome not to pass on!!
..........
Thanks so much to all of you who read or started following this blog!  It means more to me than you know.  I hope you all stick around :)

Next post I hope to share my before and progress picture.... YIKES!

Until then.
Love, Jenn

The First 40

So once again, I have epic failed on keeping up with this blog mostly for 2 reasons.  First being that I SUCK ASS at technology and often just give up on it rather that get pissed and keep trying (more to follow on that), and secondly,  I am lacking in the confidence department that I will be able to produce a blog that is even half as cool as the ones that I am ADDICTED to reading each and every day.... seriously, it's like my new crack!  BUT I"M BACK!!!  I am sooo inspired by the lady's at Mama Laughlin's Fit Camp that I have a new determination to stick with this and one day I'll have this journey documented to look back on how amazing I have become (haha).

So what I want to tell you guys about today, especially those of you with a big goal, mine is over 100lbs, is what I have learned in these first 4 months and 40 pounds.  I have come along way and not just with my new lifestyle,  I have learned so much about me and who I am at my core....... DEEP down under all this padding :)  so bear with me this may be a long one!!

My story is different from many I have read so far.  I was not big my whole life.  Growing up my nick name was Bones... because that's all I was.  I was extremely active as a child, playing softball from an early age, then moving into figure skating, and eventually gave up both for competitive cheerleading and high school cheerleading.  Looking back I've probably always had shit for eating habits but I was so active that it didn't really matter.  Flash forward to 17 and the world of dating and driving.  I learned 2 detrimental things...
     1.  Dates usually consisted of eating out, but it was FREE so why not
     2.  Having my driver's license and a part time job meant that Sonic would give me all the tots and bacon,       egg, and cheese toasters that I wanted.

After I stopped cheering because I was too scared of more advanced tumbling, I basically stopped exercising all together, and the weight started to pack on and never stopped.

Flash forward to May of 2013.....  I have an amazing job, just bought my first house, and had the best boyfriend and fur babies EVER!  My boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo.... it was perfect and I couldn't be happier.... until I stepped on the scale the next morning... 273 lbs.  I had a meltdown in my bathroom.  I knew that I was fat.... let's face it, OBESE and had been very sucessful at losing 20lbs and gaining 30 for the past 3 years, but this time it had to be different, I had to change my life, for countless reasons, but mostly that despite how awesome my life was I wasn't happy with ME and who's more important that me :)

I started my journey on May 15th... the very day of the 273, no waiting til Monday or until all the shit in my cabinets were gone (my go to excuses to put off the change).  I have adapted my journey several times along the way, but 4 months later I am at 232.8 lbs.... that's 40lbs lighter and have gone from a size 22 jeans to a comortable 18 or some 16s that stretched into probably an 18..... mind you I can button brand new 16s, but NO ONE wants to see that glorious of a muffin top :)

The big point of this long ass rambling post is that I have learned some very important things from these first 40lbs that I'd like to share with those of you who may need some reassurance that this journey is worth it all :)

1. Changing your life is FUCKIN HARD and it takes a long time!!  It's not going to get easier, so don't wait for it to!  Just keep trucking knowing that it is the right thing to do, and that all the tears, sweat, sore muscles, and days of wanting to give up but making yourself stick to it are worth it!!

2.  I can do so much more than I ever thought I was capable of!   Lots of stuff comes naturally to me, and when it doesn't I get pissed and give up... not this time!  I have become determined to do things in all aspects of my life whether it be jogging for 20 minutes straight or figuring out how to edit this blog!

3. I'm pretty dang awesome!  To me, being fat forced me to develop my personality and not to get by on "being pretty"  Since I had no confidence in my appearance, I had to use my personality to get me through.  Honestly, I think me at 273 lbs was way cooler than I ever was when I was thin, and I became confident in who I was and my non-physical attributes.  Now, I'm slowly getting to the best version of me possible.

4. Put yourself out there and be accountable!  Nothing has helped me more than the Fit Camp page!  This group of women is the BEST thing that I could have found!

5. Most importantly... I've learned that I'm Just Jenn (hence the lame blog title) and that is more than enough for me!

I'm finally done!!!  sorry ya'll :-/  It's almost that TOM and I tend to get very share-y and open at that time....     Thanks for hanging in there.  Let my hear about what you've learned!!  I'll be back soon, and I promise to keep it much shorter!!

Until then,  much love :)