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Friday, January 4, 2013

It's The FREAKIN Weekend!!

Yes, I remember, today was supposed to be my epic Operation Red Bikini Post, but the stars just did not quite align for that today.  Firstly, I overslept by about 3 hours this morning!!  Who knew that staying up til 3 am watching Pretty Little Liars would make getting up at 7 quite difficult??  So I am already way behind my already packed errand schedule... boo!  Secondly, my humiliating photos required one item that I can't seem to find anywhere, so I am sending out the search party... probably DEEP to the bottom of a dusty drawer where all my skinny clothes have gone to die.  Hopefully I will get that post to you all by Monday, I'm pretty excited about this whole thing.  I feel that by putting an acutal goal with a deadline out there, I REFUSE to fail!  Failing privately is one thing, but publicly??? UN-EFFING-ACCEPTABLE to this girl here!  Hopefully, I didn't choose something that has no way of happening.

Anyways, I feel like I am always reading about fun things that will be going on this weekend and I never have anything to add, but this weekend I actually have some activities lined up!!

Tonight is Winga-Date Night!!  We have not been out on a date since Halloween when we went to a Mexican restaurant... which is a stretch to even call a date, but the place did not have a drive thru so we were big ballin.  It's not that he refuses to take me out or anything, we just both work odd schedules.  I work at night and he is a retail manager so his hours vary day to day... it works for us, but it's nice to finally get some time together, and get away from all the stress in our lives right now.  He hasn't told me what we are doing so I'm pretty excited.  This chic LOVES surprises.... well at least good ones.

Tomorrow night is going to be interesting to say the least.  I have to preface this event a little bit for you to grasp the whole situation, so bear with me.. I'll try to make it quick and painless.

So our neighbor, Angie,  works with Ryan.  It's an auto parts store that ironically is staffed by mostly older women.  Apparently older women enjoy girls nights as much as us frisky young things, because they decide that they need a girls night out with all the girls in the store.  Sweet Angie, thinking that she'd get out of it, says that she's not really the bar scene girl anymore, but dinner and drinks sounds great.  This gets interpreted as "Let's have a sleepover at Angie's where we make home made pizza, get wasted face, and watch Magic Mike until we pass out"  And once again, the sweet girl that she is, Angie agrees.  Where do I fit in, you ask? Well as the assistant manager's fiance ( I was unaware of my high social status) and Angie's best friend and neighbor (and my karma apparently)  I was immediately added to the guest list. Being the great friend that I am, I agree to attend.  It doesn't sound bad?  It might not be, but the hype it is getting from Angie and Ryan makes me nervous.  I don't know these women all that well.  I know that 1 lady looks about late 50s and has a pink streak in her hair. Another lady loves prescription pills so much that I'm a little worried that her contribution to the food spread will be bacon wrapped Valium and Vicoten.  

 I know that on average, everyone there will be 20 years older than me, and talking horny time.  Not that I have a problem with sex talk... I just always hoped my adult social life would be more Sex and the City and less Golden Girls.   Anyways, at least there will be jello shots, drunk gummy bears, and pizza. And who knows, maybe it will be the party of my life.... plus, this may the only event I ever attend where I have the best boobs in the house!!

I have decided that it's going to be fabulous no matter what, because at the very least, we can make fun of them all night.  I will try to sneak pics for Instagram and possibly some Keeks.

Happy Friday!!  What are y'all doing this weekend?


  1. I think your plans sound awesome!

    I'm having a hard time deciding on a goal for Operation Red Bikini and I really need to!

  2. The Golden Girls comment and the best boobs in the house made me choke on my water. Hilarious!

  3. Haha if you are able to keek this it will be epic. Good luck :-) You're fabbbul;ouuuusss

  4. I am laughing SO hard!! There's definitely going to be Instagram pics... I have a feeling those ladies will LOVE the idea of being all of the iPhones! I absolutely can not WAIT for you to post a recap of the shit show... I'm sure it's going to be a blast!

  5. OMG this post was amazing and have fun at your party!!!