Help Me I'm Challenged

Happy Tuesday laaaadiiieeeessss

So, I truly don't have anything insightful to say in this post, but do I ever?

I really just needs some helps.

I have decided that since we own this house, and have been here for almost a year, maybe we could make it look like we plan to stay a while.  Here's my dilemma... I have no freakin clue where to start!  I have always been one of those girls who is like "oooo that's cute, gimme!"  nothing really matches in my house and I don't have a general theme to any room, and that's how I like it.  However, I am having a hard time trying to find my style.  I am starting with the living room since it's right when you walk in the door..... duh.  I have an old coffee table that I am going to re-paint a minty color for the room and kind of just take it from there.  The problem lies in this.... if I go with the lighter/brighter colors where do my darker pieces go?  I know I said that I don't like things to match, really, but can dark blues, greens, reds, golds go in the same room as mint, yellow, pink, etc without looking stupid?!?!  I lover these pieces and can't bear to get rid of them, but I just don't know where to go.  Plus, I'm still paying for the funky green floral chair so BLAHHH.

I thought about moving the stuff to the bedroom, but then it doesn't flow with my ideas for the bedroom so, meh.

Second.... painting?  It's a very scandalous subject I'm learning.  All of our walls are the neutral beige-esque that all builders use so that the buyers can "see themselves in the blank space"  complete with the shitty quality budget saving paint.  A big part of me really wants to paint or hang funky wall papers to liven up the space, but when I consulted my mother (as all normal nearly 26 year old women do before making ANY decision..... yea, I have a few issues to work out)  she told me that was not a good idea and that we should just repaint with the same color, but with better quality paint and rely on decor to liven up the spaces.  This was not what I wanted to hear.  I want my house to be bright and fun and reflect me, and I thought painting would be an easy way to do that, and if we don't like the color, all we have to do is repaint.  Am I missing something in all this?  HELP ME!!  I am so design challenged, it is killing me!

Perhaps it would have been more helpful if I posted pictures of said items, but I can't bring myself to get off the couch and go through the effort of actually taking/uploading/posting pictures right now.  Just keeping it truth, ladies.

Please give me guidance/advice/ideas/your experiences with decorating!  I just don't even know where to start.  I love our house so much and I want to make it ours.... and on a super tight budget, I am also very cheap!

See y'all tomorrow for weigh in!!  It has been killing me not stepping on the scale everyday and trusting my ass kickings at the gym and strict MFP entries to get me somewhere good!  I may die if there is a gain or no loss.... just putting that out there!

Random 5:30 Randomness

Hello my lovlies!

While most of you sexy things are about to roll out of bed to start ALMOST the end of the work week, I am waking up from a nap to prepare for the start of mine... ahhh the glory of working night shift.  I basically sleep when I'm tired and do crazy things to get myself tired when I need to be OR suffer the consequences.  Totes worth it!  {Do we still say totes?  I apparently get left behind on cool lingo... I humiliated Ryan by saying "winning" in public recently}  So, here I am up at 4:30 cleaning my kitchen, jamming to my "southern pop" since it's not "real country", doing a little meal prepping for the week, and getting ready to stalk the Bible aka Pinterest for some workouts to take to the gym with me, and hopefully planning out a gym schedule for the week and doing a shit-ton of laundry..... I should be able to get all this done and be tired by noon right? We shall see

About to leave for my first gym workout... you HAVE to take selfies, right?

So, this is just going to be some random thoughts that I know you all care to here, but since I am trying to earn an over share award this year I'll go with it.

Firstly, I am in the thought process of changing up the blog...  I had no clue what I was doing when I started, and let's be honest, still don't.  It's just time for a change.  I'm thinking up a new name, and my cheap self is debating sucking it up and paying for a design... WOOT WOOT!  Just Jenn was just a random thought when I couldn't think of anything better, fitting, but boring.  How are you ladies so creative???  I have a couple new ideas, no thanks to my charming fiance, who has contributied "Boats and Hoes" with a nautical themed page and "Bitches Ain't Shit, but Hoes and Tricks"...... speechless? me too.

Last night was our first workout at our new gym and I LOVED it!!!  The only bad thing was that we went at the busy time so it was packed, and we had to compete for the classroom.  Angie and I overheard a girl on the phone talking about a class being about over and she would get spin set up for them.  So we dumped our stuff and tried to beat her to the room.... She came up behind us right as we were picking a class and said that they were gonna do spin, and my polite gene took over.  We ended up doing Ab Attack with them and then they did spin.... BOO.  The video was great!  It definitely attacked my abs and the instructor was the Jamaican Arnold Schwarzenegger,  "one, two, tree"   I loved it!!  I'm definitely feeling it in my fatty gut now.  Then I hit the stair climber for a fat burner session and my legs were jelly after.... YAY!!  I did a few arm exercises, and I really need to find an arm routine for me.  I'm not much of a machines girl, so I need to rock those free weights and bars!  I can't wait to go back today, and I'm going to pack a gym bag for after work! Gym Rat in Training right here!

The Carrie Underwood leg workout.... it's a bitch!

possible arm workout?

After my great workout, I did the exact opposite of what you should do....  went to Buffalo Wild Wings!  I had been craving wings all day, and made the mistakes {yes 2} of telling the mens about it and then mentioning that I had never had Buffalo Wild Wings before.  I will say that it was DELICIOUS and in the fat kid glory, we decided that once a month we should have Wingsday Wednesday..... and then I put that shit into MFP and died a little inside..... 1060 calories!!!!  Thanks to my great workout I didn't go over, but still!!!  UGH!!  I'm not going to sweat it too bad, it's over and done, and there's nothing left to do, but pick back up.

soooooo much fat ass goodness!

I am not really much of a lipstick girl, but I decided to give it a go after seeing how smokin hot some of my blogging idols look with some color on their lips.  This was the result.... not sure how I feel about it, I used a coral color.  More than anything I decided that I must invest in some tanning towels or a spray tan  ASAP.

CASPER!!  I also need better lighing in my house {studio}

Never take R shopping with you!  Idk about you're men, but he is like the cock block of shopping.  He talks me out of buying everything!  I did manage to purchase a couple new sports bras and work out tanks... HOLLA Old Navy with your $5 tanks!  But everything else was shot down.  He even said "I hate being that guy who shuts down all the spending".  So my fun day of shopping was killed before it even began.... I will be going alone next week, thank you.

And finally..... fake eyelashes.  I have recently been on a mission for amazing eyelashes, I was not blessed with long, flirty lashes, and I hate anyone that was.  I do love my double extend mascara, but I got greedy and wanted more.  So, when I saw fake lashes for $1 at Target, I was all over it.  I tried them one day last week, they weren't awful... I figured that it would get easier to apply them the more I used them, so no where to go but up.  Then the edge of one started slipping while we were in line at the car tag place, and I made the mistake of telling R that I had tried the fake lashes.  Never missing the opportunity to make fun of me, I have been catching Hell ever since.  Everything I do would be made better if only I had fake eyelashes on.  I thought I had finally lived it down, until the other night.  {TMI alert}  We had some pretty awesome adult frisky time... after we were done, he asked if I was wearing fake eyelashes.  When I said no, he said "too bad, I would have *^% harder if you had been".  I am so grateful that I will never have to go without incessant teasing in my life.

The falsies.... not sure how I felt

Happy Thursday ladies!!  I hope you all have a great weekend! xoxoxo!

What are your favorite arm workouts?

I'm not really marrying an ass... we just play :)

Weigh in Wednesday.... Round 3 or 4?

Hey my loves!

So, I have been fairly absent from social media this week.  I have been on my 8 days off from work so I have just been bumming around really.  I worked an overtime shift on Saturday.... HOLLA for a DOLLA!  I finally got my Christmas decorations down, hopefully they make it to the attic today, and spent way too much time with Netfilx.  I am loving me some Netflix..... we may have to cancel it.  We got it a few weeks ago and I have plopped down in front of it every chance I could get!  This week it has been Parenthood, and I LOVE it!!  I'm assuming it is somewhat based off of the Steve Martin movie also called Parenthood, which is an all time favorite of mine.  Please tell me I'm not the only person who has seen it...... in my real life I am, so I feel slightly uncool.

So, in Wednesday tradition I weighed in this morning.... womp womp!  It's not all bad, really.  I am down .6 lbs from my last loss.  I was super bummed at first, because I was kind of expecting better.  But then I thought about the good stuff that happened this week fitness wise.  I ran 3 times this week, which hasn't happened in a while!  Not only did I run, but I PR'd my 5k in back to back runs!  I still run super slow {11.30-12 minute milles}, but keep in mind how much extra I am lugging around, so I don't expect myself to be cranking out the 10 minute miles YET.

I uses Nike Run to track my runs, and I love it!

I also got MUCH better with my eating.  I made out a dinner plan for the week, and wrote down options for breakfast, lunch, and snacks then took my list to the grocery store and bought only those items.... our house is officially 90% clean... there really isn't any junk here to shove in my face... BIG WIN!  And I haven't been having huge junk cravings... not that I wouldn't love to plow into some kind of junky fatty deliciousness, but it hasn't been constantly on my mind.
                                              
 I tried making spaghetti squash for the first time... not with alfredo.  I'll try again with regular sauce though

LOVE these little egg muffins!  So easy, and fantastic to have yummy breakfast for a few days with no prep!

And yesterday, I JOINED A GYM!!!! My neighbor, aka my husband, and I have been talking about getting a membership together for a while now.  We checked one out a couple weeks ago that was no bueno for me... classes were $30 a week on top of the membership itself!  So last night we checked out one that is a little farther away (5 miles maybe) and it was great!  So great that his fiance wanted to join and I threw Ryan's name on my membership!!  Not as cheap as the original plan, but what can you do!  They have all the equipment you could need ( I won't use the machines, thanks to my time with Crossfit, I don't know how to or like to use them) a free weight area, a women's only circuit room, and virtual classes!!!  I wasn't too keen on the virtual classes when he mentioned them, since 85% of my problem with the Shred is that I get bored with the DVD, but once he showed me how it worked I was in love!  They have a classroom with a huge projection screen and the computer lets you pick from tons of classes... any class that you would be able to get with a live instructor.... EVEN SPIN!!! We stayed and did some cardio, and I surprisingly didn't want to stab my eyes out on the stair climber, so I think once I have my music with me, I will have no issues!  I am so excited to go tonight!!  WOW.... who would ever thought I would say that!  I won't be giving up my outdoor runs, those are my love, but it'll be nice to have some other options and hopefully a more fun way to get in strength training without seeing Jillian's face!!!

So, there was good this week, and that's why I'm not beating myself up over a small loss.  It's a loss, and that's what matters.  Plus I feel amazing this week and I think I am starting to look better also, and that is always more important that what a little red digital number has to say!

While, overall it was a good week, there was the bad too, and I have to be accountable for that.  First, I didn't log calories into MFP.  I took it at face value that I was eating clean, therefore not going over my calories.... Big mistake.  Looking back over my meals, I'm slightly concerned I wasn't getting ENOUGH calories, which as we all know, slows weight loss also.  Next, I know I didn't drink enough water which is a major player in this game.  And finally, while I did do a few runs, that's about all I did... I slacked majorly on the 30DS I HATE IT!!!! Not so much the actual workouts... they are great workouts, I hate doing the same thing over and over again and bumping into crap in my living room and having 2 dogs under my feet while I do it.... therefore, a huge lack of motivation to do it!

My plan this week?  Fix the mistakes, duh!!!!

 As much as I hate logging recipes and ingredients into MFP, I  have too!!  It drives me nuts guessing how many servings are in something like the chili I am making tonight, but it's just part of the puzzle, so suck it up, buttercup!

DRINK MORE WATER.... always a goal

I'm going to keep up the meal plans, it seemed to work out pretty great.  I always knew what was going to be for dinner and always had meal options for the rest of the day.  Hopefully throwing work into the equation won't mess things up too bad, because unfortunately, Alabama doesn't have a lottery for me to win, and Ryan neglected to tell me he WASN'T RICH before things got too serious.

In the spirit of the meal plans, I am also going to write up a gym schedule.  If it's on a list I have to do it, right?  I freaking love me some lists, so I'm sure this will work out great.

I love my lists!

I also am going to hide the scale.  I am a big cheater, and step on that bitch everyday.  It has to stop.  I end up getting discouraged when it doesn't move or it moves way down and then goes back up (like this week).  So I'm going to put that Ho in the back of my closet, and not get it out til Wednesday.

I'm off to try to shove as much happiness and fun as possible into my last day off!  Happy Hump Day, lovies!

Biggest Loser and Snow Days

Welp, it's officially snowing in Bama and people have lost their minds!  Seriously, you'd think the south had never seen snow before.  Last night the winter weather advisory went into effect and the rednecks went into apocalypse survival mode to prepare for our possible 1-3 inches of snow.  We woke up this morning to...... MORE RAIN!  Some schools were closing, just in case.  I always hated when they did that as a kid, partially because I was a nerd and loved school, but it never snowed on these days and then they took away one of our pretty spring weather days away to make up for it!  I did not make a mad dash to the grocery store last night {even if I was a crazy redneck, I slept til 7:15 last night when I got off work... it was that kind of week} so I can only imagine what a zoo Walmart must look like.  I never quite understood why people run out and buy milk, bread, and other perishables.  If I was planning on being trapped in my home for the forseeable future I wouldn't be too concerned about milk... I would try and get stuff that would last AND vodka, but that's just me.  The rain did turn to snow around 11am and the temperatures have dropped quite a bit... it would be nice to get a few pretty inches.... and I am kind of wishing that I had some hot chocolate or makings for some soup, but I shall make do.

I do enjoy snow.  I think it is pretty to look at and I enjoyed playing in it the few times we actually got a reasonable amount in my life.  Today, it ruined another run for me.  I thought it would be nice to get out and run in the pretty snow... nope!  It's wet, cold, and windy, so I kept my butt inside today and managed to knock out a full on Natalie version of 30DS level 2 for the first time.  It felt great!  I was just about to do the Carrie Underwood legs workout I found on Pinterest when Ryan called that he had left his lunch at home and if I could bring it to him.  By the time I got home, I had cooled down and decided to get my Carrie on later and took an amazingly hot shower and have now settled into the depths of the couch to drink coffee and read blogs in front of the fire, at least until reality sets back in and I have to get to work cleaning... boo!

So, this season I decided I would give the Biggest Loser a try.  I have never watched it in the past.  I don't know why really, maybe I was secretly avoiding my own issues by not watching it... I mean how can you watch that show while you sit there and eat a bag of sour cream and cheddar chips and a box of little debbies,  and feel good about it. YOU CAN'T!  But considering my own journey these past 7 months, and Jillian being back, I thought why not. OMG!!!  I think I may have never watched it, because I can't handle it emotionally!  I literally break down several times an episode!  I see myself in each one of the contestants, and it takes me through so many places that I just break down.   I love it.... and hate it.  I watch the show and hear all the information and I can't help but be proud that I have made the choice that I made to change my life... these statistics are scary!  I love watching these people succeed in any way and cry with them when they break down new walls, or don't see the numbers they deserve on the scale, or for any reason really.  I AM THESE PEOPLE!  I  weighed the same if not more than a lot of the contestants when I started this journey, and it is so emotional to watch them go through it each week.  They are each so strong and brave for doing what they are doing and I wish they could all stay on the ranch until they reached goal.  I really wish I could be on the ranch until I reach goal!!!

Plus, look at Dolvett!!  I don't know about you ladies, but I would do burpees until I dropped dead if he flashed that smile at me, and I would definitely have no problem being in the gym all day with that yumminess!  I love all the trainers!  Bob is amazing and his team is pretty bad ass, and Jillian..... do I really need to say anything about her?  Needless to say, I am hooked and inspired by this show and I hate that I have not watched it before.... I may be taking this snow day to my advantage and watching some past seasons on Netflix!  I have officially kicked the Bachelor to the curb this season, and the Biggest Loser cast is my new must watch!  Watching people become total bad asses and changing their life is way better than a bunch of drunk bitches whine about their rotting ovaries and competing for someone else's sloppy seconds any day of the week!

For now, I think I am going to paint my nails and watch The Carrie Dairies.  I am experimenting with dinner tonight, so check that out on Instagram later!

Weigh In Wednesday

Hayy Hayyy Hayyyy!!

Happy Wednesday ladies!  I am feeling especially chipper today, I am officially on my 8 day stretch of off days!!  This is what keeps me going every month when I think about how great it would be to have a regular job with a desk and cute clothes, instead of 12 hour night shifts cleaning up poop and fighting with Interns and Residents (think Grey's Ananatomy the early years) to stop them from accidentally killing my patients.

Maybe it won't be raining at some point today and I can go get my run on, I want to soooo bad!  I am really wanting to push myself to get back to where I was before I slacked off for 6 weeks.  I also have to get in my date with Jillian.  I've missed the past 2 days with her, because work has been REDICULOUS busy this week and it is KILLING me!  We have been cranking out the kidney/liver/pancreas transplants like no one's business this week. We have had several each night as opposed to the usual few each week.  I am blaming this on the rain combined with bad driving.  I am so thrilled that these people are getting a second chance at life, but it sure makes for a crazy week!

Anyways, it's Wednesday!! Which means that I get to link up with a couple of my favorite gals, Erin and Alex!  Join in and link up, it's fun!  Well as fun and stepping on the scale and then publicly announcing the number can possibly be.  After my epic fail weekend 2 weeks ago that came with a 10lb gain, I have been busting ass to get back to where I was.  My eating has been mostly on point and I have worked out all but these past 2 days, so I am going to call that a good week.  Yes, I had an ice cream cone and some chips, and the period monster finally made her appearance Saturday night, along with a complete meltdown and ugly cry, but that's just life.  I don't expect to never eat those foods again.

So, after all that, I am weighing in at 223.... WOMP WOMP.  Technically, that is a .4 gain from my previous official weigh in, but I have been battling that damn 10 lb "water weight" gain for almost 2 whole weeks now, so I'm just reminding myself that I have lost 10 lbs this past 2 weeks and busting my ass does work!  What has all this taught me?  A fat day each week is one thing, but a whole weekend of Jumbo Jenn debauchery is NOT!  I'm not really sure what happened to my body that weekend, but whatever i did, it was not impressed.  Splurges are okay in moderation, not when I shove a whole weeks worth of calories into 3 days.  It's been a rough couple of weeks and there have been times where I just wanted to say fuck it, but I didn't.  I may not be Jillian's most loyal follower...... I just HATE her so much and not because of the burn... I love the burn, I'm not sure what it is, but 30 days in a row with her is just not for me.   I am NOT quitting the Shred, I just can't do it every day.  Rain rain go away so this girl can run, PLEASE!!

Next week I WILL be posting a real deal loss.  I'm pretty excited to see the 220s go, I've been looking at that damn decade for months now, and I am OVER it!!

How did your Wednesday Weigh in go?

Operation Red Bikini: My Journey is NOW

There has been much hooplah about Operation Red Bikini going around our little blogging community and Instagram thanks to the BEAUTIFUL, FUNNY, and ALWAYS MOTIVATING Kassie and Leigh Ann.  Being the sheep that I am, I instantly jumped on this bandwagon and went to work setting a goal for myself... this was harder than I thought.  I originally wanted to go with something wedding dress related since that is going to be my major outfit of the year, but with ORB ending at the end of May and my wedding being in November, that was a no go.  Plus, I wouldn't be able to post pics of my dress here so that was also a no go.  I think I have finally come up with a goal that is hopefully obtainable.

DRAMATIC PAUSE.....

By May 31st I will be able to get into my size 10 jeans.  I am currently sitting in a 16, so this is probably qutie a lofty goal, but with a lot of ass kicking and dedication and the support of some of my AMAZING friends Keyona, Erin, Lindsey..... ALL OF YOU,  I think can do this!

In order to reach my goal I have to do some serious planning, which is also going to help with another goal of mine... getting more organized.  Here's what I'm thinking

DIET:  I'm going to work harder to eat as clean as possible.  This means sticking with meal prepping for work weeks, and doing meal planning at home.  I also will be adding in some low/no carb days into my weeks on my off days from work.  Of course, I will be drinking water non stop and limiting my splurges since I have zero self control.  I have gotten back in the habit of logging everything into MFP, you can find me at jenla426.

EXERCISE:  I recently started the 30DS for the 3rd time and this time I WILL complete it.  I had a major setback last weekend and missed 3 days, but there are no more excuses.  I am itching to get back into my runs if it EVER STOPS RAINING here!!  I love my runs and honestly, it's what has worked best for me on my journey so far.  Tomorrow, we are going to look at a gym or two and I will be getting a membership in the near future.  I'm really excited about this.  I can't wait to get into some classes and have someone yelling at my fat ass to keep me going!

Now, a moment of realness.  I have had a terrible week.  Work has been awful, and I have seriously been considering what I got myself into.  I stepped on the scale Monday to find a 10lb gain over the weekend.  I assumed it was water weight from my splurges on food and alcohol mixed with PMS, and it would be gone within a few days back on track, and while I wouldn't have a loss this week, I'd at least break even.  NOT the case.  I weighed myself today, and while I have lost 4 of those lbs... I am still up 6lbs from last Friday.  This was a big hit,  I had a small pity party for myself, debated whether or not I could even do this, and did some ugly crying.  After a few minutes it hit me... I needed to get my shit together!  There is no I can't do it, because I have done it am doing it!  I have lost 50lbs and that is no small feat.  Is it enough? NO!  Have I had setbacks these past few months? ABSOLUTELY!  Can I keep going?  I HAVE TO! Am I content with where I am? HELL NO!  I'm a greedy bitch, I want more!!!!  I dragged myself to the living room and did the first day of Level 2 with Jillian.  It was awful, but I felt amazing after and I still feel amazing!

So this is my official entry into the Operation Red Bikini game and I'm in it to win it!!  This is a picture of me in my goal jeans today.... yea, those things stuck around my thighs.  On May 31st.. those WILL BE buttoned!!!

I had some tears in my eyes after taking this picture.  This definitely NOT how I want to see myself EVER again!  I reconsidered posting it at all, but the truth is, I need to put this out there.  Not to humiliate myself, but because this keeps me going.  Every time I want to eat crap or skip a workout, I can think of how I felt when I took this picture.  I will post updated progress pictures and I go, so join me in my ORB journey here and on Instagram @jenlynn426,  it's going to be a ride to say the least!

I hope everyone has an amazing weekend!!!

Fun and Games With the Saggy Titty Committee

Happy Tuesday, you sexy things you!

I know a few of you have been anxiously awaiting my recap of my slumber party with The Golden Girls.  Sorry, I'm a day late... hopefully not a dollar short.  PMS kicked in on Sunday, so short of leaving my house to get Burger King (fail)  I only left my couch to pee.... therefore, I ate cheeseburgers for dinner since that's all Ryan knows how to make, and God forbid I pause Pretty Little Liars long enough to mix a dang salad kit.

I'm OBSESSED... like bad... I must find a way to watch season 3

Anyways..... Friday night was date night.  We ate dinner at Texas Roadhouse- read:  I filled up on fried pickles and rolls and Ryan took 80% of my sensible meal for lunch the next day.  We then went saw Djanjo Unchained.  My opinion you ask?? Loved it!  I wasn't really sure from the previews, but Samuel L., Jamie Fox, and Leo??? How could that possibly be bad.  FYI, the previews aren't very telling, because of all the violence and colorful language and that crap was 3 hours long!!!  My favorite part of the night?  I had been running errands all day and when I got back we decided that if we went early we could get cheap meal specials and miss the crowds.... so I wore no makeup, jeans, old tshirt, and chucks... how romantic right? Oh, and of course, the candy that I got at Dollar Tree and snuck into the movie.  $4 Junior Mints, my ass!

 Ryan asked me a few times if I Instagrammed this... so I'm assuming he wanted you all to see it?

YUM!!! And totally worth being in the bathroom less than 10 minutes later

So, Saturday was the big day.. you can read the back story HERE.  Basically, I was forced to attend a slumber party with several women in their 50s that work for my fiance.  I'll save the photos til the end for dramatics... most of them are of me, and they are all Instagram repeats.

I apparently, was the hit of the night, since it took me the most alcohol to get into the event.  I think my low point was when I just grabbed a spoon and started shoving spoonfuls of drunk gummies in my mouth.  The night started off kind of slow, I don't think they really knew what to tallk to me about, for  a variety of reasons, I'm sure.  They got a little fiesty when the men didn't leave quick enough for their liking (they were waiting on their food to be ready), but then the shots got flowing and things picked up.  We ate homemade pizza, took a few shots, watched them oooo and awwww over the pasta arm (they had never seen one in person before) and played on the ab glider... pretty tame stuff.

One lady disclosed that she had skipped her multitude of medications that night, not knowing the effects of mixing them with alcohol.  What medications you ask?  I was thinking maybe blood pressure pills or her large amounts of pain medications needed just to function every day... no, no, no.... she skipped her BIPOLAR meds!  Luckily, the other ladies said that was the most even kiltered they had ever seen her.... hmmmm

After about an hour, we started playing some penny poker and I became the DJ since I know all the good tunes.. aka, I have a phone made this century and have Pandora.  A little while later, one of the gals... Blanche, we'll call her, decided that she should call and invite the manager over too... without checking with the host that it was okay to invite a man over to the all girls slumber party.  I just give her a heads up and we laugh it off, because surely he won't show up, that is inappropriate on several levels.  About 10 minutes later he does.... and my neighbor let's her fiance know and he comes over from my house pretty pissed off.  We give the guy MULTIPLE outlets to leave and go over to my house with the other penises... no go, he wants to stay with us, I guess.  So we go back inside to play more penny poker.

I think this is where I have my 7th Crown, Peach Schnapps, and Cranberry juice shot (  I forgot the cutesy name for it, but YUM) and dive into the gummy bears like a bowl of ice cream.... heaping spoonfuls.  I hear the guy call himself B-rian and quickly call him out that if he's calling himself that he better have a big dick, because that's the only way you get to give yourself a nickname of that douche-level..... yes, I said this to my fiance's BOSS and yes, the guy is a douche.  Needless to say, he didn't call himself B-rian anymore that night.

Apparently, I am the only person in the world... or at least the state of Alabama to never try cheese whiz.  Something about the idea and smell of "cheese" in a can is not appealing to me.  It becomes hilarious to try and get me to try the shit... so much so that Blanche decides to squirt a line on my arm..... I guess I'm supposed to pull a Scarface and snort that shit like a pile of coke??  Instead I jump up, grab the side of her face and proceed to wipe it all across her face while saying "take it, bitch! take it all"  Probably not my finest moment, but what would have been a better response?  NOTHING!  Plus, she seemed to like it, grossly enough.... probably the most action she's seen in a while.  Sadly, for me, my arm smelled like cheese wiz the rest of the night. 

Things got vaugely boring after a while... I went hardcore on the penny poker betting, because they weren't my pennies and they are PENNIES!  I do remember asking who had brought the slut red nail polish (Blanche did) and then proceeded to sloppily paint my own nails.  This was about 1:30 am and people were falling asleep.. so, I gathered what of my belongings I could carry and stumbled across my yard WITHOUT falling down.  After chugging a ton of water, and eating a bowl of apple jacks I crawled into bed. 

I will say it was fun, in it's own way, and I would love to do it again.... with people my own age and of similar interests.  Now that I have figured out how to get wasted face without puking and being hungover for 2 days, I would like to do it more than once a year.  The committee has decided to meet once a month... I'm hoping my behavior has me off the guest list... only time will tell.

The major win of the night?  I didn't get sick and I didn't end up with a hangover... I just ate like I did.  I weighed myself Monday morning to see a 10lb gain... I am mostly blaming this on PMS and water weight. Still, I am officially low carbing it, until furter notice.  And, I am ashamed to admit it, but I missed 3 days of Jillian.... which means that sometime in the next 3 weeks I have to do 3 two a days.... not worth it.  I'm just hoping to break even with where I was last Wednesday... lucky for me, my work schedule won't allow me to weigh in until Thursday :)

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.... PICTURES!!!!! (In no particular order... well the order Blogger wanted, I guess)

 This is how you know I'm drunk.... I don't know that I even know how to actually smoke a cigarette  I just try for a few puffs

 No one was around to drive me to taco bell, so apple jacks in panties and socks had to do

 The beginning of my end... gross

 The gummies soaking up the booze.... easiest buzz ever!

 My sloppy slut red nails... eww (my nails are still stained)

 Maybe the 3rd or 4th shot?

 The long ponytail is Blanche... she's dancing... she seemed to like that move... alot... along with titty shimmies for her boss

 This was the sweetest lady... she snuggled with the dogs most of the night and didn't get annoyingly shmammered

Officially white girl wasted face... at least my hair seemed to hold up well

I PROMISE I will be getting my ORB post to you guys this week. :)

Oh, and, ROLL TIDE :)